Monday, January 8, 2018

The little girl


Bastard and illegitimate were just some of the words that her new born had often been labelled with. The baby was born to her and her live-in partner. They had decided to keep the baby when they found out, at 12 weeks. As expected, their parents had not agreed to the match or them having a baby together without getting married. 

The little baby girl is 5 years old now. She is young and vivacious, and her innocence personified features make her look angelic. Her maternal grandma has come down to meet her, finally. One look at her and she can’t help but exclaim, “Oh dear! You are so beautiful!” while the proud father looks on.

The little girl’s mother sighs in a corner, “Ma, that’s because she was made when we made love. Not when we had sex”. She then starts humming her favorite song to drown the voices in her head which screamed “desperate, lust, stigma, sex, illicit, bastard, illegitimate”.

Friday, January 5, 2018

The latent cooking gene!

And so, if you have been reading up, you would know my cooking journey has finally commenced, and how! I never thought I would ever talk about cooking on my blog, or discuss recipes with my friends. If people who can't dance have two left feet, then I, with my zero cooking abilities,  am definitely one with two left hands. But clearly, times have changed.

Recently, our American neighbor came over for a short visit. He was intrigued by the "aroma" wafting through our house. I showed him the freshly cooked "bhindi ki subzi"in the kitchen. After tasting it, he remarked,"Its so delicious. You must open a restaurant". Well,to say the least, that is a huge compliment for someone who has two left hands.

And while we are on the subject, let me also share some pics of the banana bread cake that I recently baked. It came out great too, much like the cookies. Well, seems like, the beginner's luck is really working. My latent cooking gene is finally alive.
And no, I will not be sharing any recipes or have my food blog any time soon. Because, I am learning, and trying out other people's recipes. So.

Enjoy the pics. And tell me, the cake looks delicious. Because it surely tastes delicious :)
And excuse me if I go overboard with the food pics for a while. But that's because I never believed I could do this stuff. I am so freaked out and excited that I can't keep calm!


Banana bread cake. Fresh off the oven

Thursday, January 4, 2018

An ode to 2017..

Saying that this year was life changing for me, would be an understatement. The year started with us planning a trip to Thailand for our 6th wedding anniversary. It was a great vacation, with beach visits and lots of family time. 3 months later, H was packing off to US. Goodbyes are never easy. And it is always a difficult time with S, missing him and being totally uncooperative.But in the middle of that life, I got an opportunity to visit Leh with my parents, while the grandparents babysat lil S. Leh trip, as expected, was incredible. We traveled from one mountainous region to another, braving hot sun, rain, and even snowfall. It is one place where the pictures don't do any justice. The panoramic view is something that you take in and remember. You can't ever capture the magnanimity of the landscape.

But the cake for change has to be, our move to this country, that I am now trying to call home. I have gone over this decision a thousand times in my head, and each time I came out convinced that it was wrong. I love my country, my city, with all it's fallacies. I didn't want to move here. Leaving behind my job, my financial independence, my parents, and friends. To start a new life. All over again.
But then, who said, Life was fair. H convinced me that it was best for our daughter who was really struggling with the pollution levels in NCR. And thankfully has been doing great health wise, ever since we landed here.

There are some things that you can never prepare yourself for. Like, being at home, tending to the house and cooking all day, without a "job". So here I am, with a lot of time which I am utilizing to watch all the movies I missed owing to the "job". Life is definitely coming a full circle, right? I am also finding it really difficult to maintain a routine because, you guessed it, no job. The first month was miserable with a feeling of listlessness and total loss of control. Slowly, I am beginning to really enjoy all this spare time and revel in being totally aimless. Until it's time to get back to the real world.

And finally, I am slowly conquering my fear of cooking. I have never had any interest in cooking, and always made sure to avoid it. In fact, during my 3 year stay in Bangalore, I never took up a flat because that would require maintaining a kitchen. And so I always stayed put in a PG where a maid cooked for us. The maid arrangement continued after our marriage until...now. Never say never, right? After I moved here, I have been cooking at least 3 hot meals a day. I even managed to bake cookies which, if I may add, turned out quite yummy.

Home made cookies, anyone?

The way life has been throwing curve balls at us every year, I am quite convinced that I don't really need any New Year Resolutions. I should just learn to swim with the flow, and learn the lessons along the way. How about that for a New Year Resolution? :-)

Friday, December 15, 2017

Heartbreak!

Our house still reeks of love. I think it always will. All the unsaid words and feelings, I can feel them floating around. You love me, you say. I believe you. Only that your love is biased towards your own self. 
 
I toy with the idea of moving away. I know it will be difficult, but necessary for my self-respect. I wouldn’t be able to survive in this house anymore. My place of refuge, my place of solace, has turned into a prison.

I wonder if I would ever meet another man and fall in love. Again. It seems impossible. No man would be like you. And for me, love is you. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I couldn’t. 


Our house reeks of love. I think it always will.

Thursday, December 7, 2017

Hello, from the other side!


How do you greet your friends when you meet them after a really long time?

Do you acknowledge the time lapse and explain the reason for your absence? Or just pretend that nothing happened and 18 months is not really that long a time to be missing from one’s blog!
Ok so, I am not going to pretend and pickup from where I left because a lot has happened en route.

For starters, I have moved to another continent. To be more precise, America. My life has suddenly become a total antithesis of what it was. Presently, I am staying home, and not working at a full time corporate job. I have never known this life. Although this is temporary, I am still finding it difficult to come to terms with it. I stay at home, and unlike back home, I have no maid to take care of the cooking and cleaning part. And if you know me, you would know how much I detest coking. But hey, someone said, “Never say never”. So here I am, cooking 3 hot meals a day for the family. Let me also take this opportunity to thank them for being a sport, because they pretend to enjoy my cooking!

In the meantime, the little one has also grown up a bit and is not so little anymore. Current status: 4 going on 14. She likes makeup and high heels, and doesn’t like to wear the same uniform to school every day. I have no idea what issues we’ll be facing in a decade! She is yet to start school here in US, and I am really looking forward to that. Not because she will start studying and learn new things, but just because she’ll be off my back for a few hours. Now, no judging please. I love her, but I am not Mother India, ok? I am not blessed with unlimited patience.

I had almost given up on the blog in the past 18 months as I was too busy juggling a full time job, a house and a child. Who knew, I would get to play house-house once again, be a house wife and be tempted enough to come back here? Life, do you ever cease to wonder?