Thursday, July 28, 2011

The (in)famous silence and all..........

Sorry for the cheesy title.........but that's the best that I could come up with. ;-)
BTW, does anyone remember this dialouge and the movie ???

My two cents on "TSH" (The Silent Treatment) !!

TSH is a strange phenomena that occurs in women and has to be borne by millions of men around the world. When a woman is mad at her man over something that she considers her birth right, the man is subjected to TSH. The man stands a chance of one in ten to come out of it alive. You think that's exaggeration? Even I think it is...The truth is: the man doesn't stand any chance, AT ALL. ;-)

Men seldom realize what's coming their way when an innocent question is met with a terse reply, "No, I am fine !!". Ideally, the man should have his ears up and be ready to face a blizzard. This is the quintessential "peace before the storm".

But if the man doesn't take the hint, TSH is going to continue and the peace will give way to rumbling clouds. Quite literally....!!!! And longer TSH means graver consequences. Somebody please send an SOS to God on the poor man's behalf..!!!

Because what you have done is not only irked the lady, but also committed the henious crime of accepting her "I am fine" routine. You are expected to know the difference between when she is actually fine and when, well....she is mad as hell and doesn't want to speak to you.

The man in question goes over the happenings in rewind mode...till whenever and whatever he manages to remember. He scratches his head, mulls over, tries to pacify the lady to get her to spill the beans, then goes back to mulling and scratching his head again.

The lady is furthur infuriated by his repeated attempts to ask her the "wrong" in question. The man is alomost there. Like standing in front of a ready-to-blast cannon. Face to face. Like standing with his head rammed between Undertaker's legs. And then, once more, when the question of wrong is hurtled at the woman, the cannon is fired. Undertaker squeezes his legs. The lady blurts out, "Why are you aksing me again and again? If you don't know why I am upset, then you don't deserve to know". Ouch!
The man has his head blasted and his skull cracked. And he still doesn't have any clue.

With the last remnants of hope and courage left in him, he still prods and mulls and scratches and shortlists a few "maybe this is why she is mad" scenarios.
The last vestige of good sense prevails and he decides against "discussing" the scenarios. And instead, he holds his lady in a tight embrace (against the struggle) and whispers a romantic Sorry. The lady immediately melts down, cries her eyes out (because she was SO hurt!!!) and hugs him back.

The man has still no clue about why all this happened......

PS: This post is solely dedicated to H for his perseverance and tolerance for me over the years....And also because I know he would love to read about his plight shared on a global platform and being publicly acknowledged. LOL.

Friday, July 22, 2011

Him and Her - Part II

She saw the creases on the bed sheet. Her lips curled. But in scornful distaste.
She hated the sight of him sprawled on the bed. At 1 in the afternoon. Unshaven. Unwashed. Tangled in the web of his phone charger, laptop charger and ear phones.

He hadn't been out of the bed since last night. He was having a gala time with his phone, movies and favorite songs. Unmindful of the seething rage within her.

When she could not take it any longer, she stormed in to the room and him. He blanked out for a second. Regaining composure, he asked her, "What happened to you? Why are you crying?"
She continued sobbing.
There was a deafening silence in the room. A hundred things were simultaneously running in his mind. He tried to pacify her. But she wouldn't budge. She continued crying and occasionally giving him accusing glances.
He was petrified. Today was not her birthday, not even their anniversary. He scraped his mind with an imaginary coconut scraper. No memory scrapings came out that could feed his curosity.

Seeing him confused and worried, she said with feiry anguish "Baby, you have changed so much..."
Ahh....those famous lines that are a part of every man's life. Especially post marriage.
"What did I do this time? Or shoud I say, not do?", he asked irritatingly.
She wiped her tears and shot back, "You were supposed to collect my reports from the doctor last evening".
"Shit..!!!" , he mentally cursed for bringing this upon himself, "isko bolte hai apne pairon par aap kulhaari maarna".
"What did you say?", she asked.
He tried to sound normal, "Nothing. I will go and collect it now."

Just then, as if struck by lightening, he looked at her. She looked back at him. Their eyes exchanged a few words.
"Just like the old times",  she would have said.

He cradled her in his arms and she happily sunk in them.
After a long pause, she said, "Congratulations would- be-daddy".

He felt somebody just boxed his ears. Suddenly, the blood drained from his face. "Ohh !!! And I thought your eyes said otherwise....", he replied with a dejection in his voice.

She couldn't believe the magic had vanished. For real. Forever.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Him and Her...

Things have begun to change. Distances in the bedroom are a grim reminder of that. Fights that used to crop up stealthily, have become a staple diet now. Endearments are far and few. That heady feeling of being in love is finally giving way to harsh reality. She realizes what everybody had been saying about marriage, was, after all, true.

She always believed whatever happened, happened with other people. Not with her. Of course. She had spent enough time with him to know his persona well. His likes and  dislikes. His hopes and aspirations. His follies and weaknesses.
But marriage had brought a third dimension in perspective. Of course, it was not her fault if she could not see these things before. This was the first time that they were living in the same house, together.

They loved the feeling of having the entire house to themselves. They could change the rules of waking up, sleeping, cooking, eating....anytime at their whim. She loved setting up her house and decorating it, like she had always thought she would. He loved being able to spend time with his electronic gadgets as and when he liked. She loved keeping the house in order. He loved his space of being able to spend time in the house, just as he wanted.
But that was the problem. Their 'likes' had begun intersecting now. His spending time at home "just the way He wanted" intersected with her "cleanliness". His "music" intersected with her "peace". "We" now intersected with individual "I's".
They had been transformed from lovers to a true blue married couple.

PS: Its purely a ficitional story. Resemblance to any real characters is purely co-incidental ;-)

Friday, July 15, 2011

Just another day in my life....when the rain was raining....

Sitting by the window side with a cup of hot tea in hand, I am sure I made a photogenic sight. He came down and sat beside me. One look at me and he knew that I was in one of  'those' moods. Don't let your horses run wild!! By 'those', he meant my philosophical side. And this time, instead of I going into a maze of questions ranging from 'Does God really exist?', 'Why do people have to die?', 'What can I do for the country and society?', he threw a bouncer at me. He said, "Dear, why do people turn philosophical whenever it rains?".

Boy, now that was a question worth pondering. I am sure all of us have turned philosphical, saintly, spiritual, gone into just one of 'those' moods whenever it rains.
What followed was a friendly banter between H and me........

H: I know, you are in one of your 'those' moods today.

I: (smiling) Which one?

H: (trying to mimick me)"Does God really exist?"

I: (sticking out my tongue) Ya. So??? You got any problem with that?

H: No, but I was wondering why you do that whenever it rains. Is there a dictum in the Gita that says that you can make ONLY hay while the sun shimes and spirituality has to wait for a rainy day??

I: (chukling) hahahah...ummm...I don't know, really, but I do have to give it to you for a good observation.

H: Chalo, finally I got my due recognition. But answer my question first.

I: Even though water falling from the skies is something all of us have seen childhood, but it still seems like a mystery. God's mystery. I think that is the reason I instantly start talking and thinking about God.

H: Oh my God....Can you like, really stop being so philosophical?? That's such a sad answer.

I: So you want an interesting answer to your question even if that may not be true??

H: Ya (LOLing)

I: Umm....then I would say its because peacocks dance only when it rains.

H: Hahaha..You know what? That's because frogs trr trrr only when it rains.

I: (beating him with pillows) You are soo mean.

And then, H scooped me up in his strong arms and we were out in the balcony. Soaking in the rain together.
H: Why do people open their umbrellas on a rainy day when they been praying for the rain for a long time?
I: Dear, why do you always turn philosophical whenever it rains? :-P

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Happy Birthday to me....!!!!

Completed a quarter of a century recently. Doesn't really generate too many emotions within me. As they say, "Age is just a number, unless you happen to be a bottle of wine". I totally agree :-)
Since this was my first birthday post marriage, hubby dear gifted me a week's vacation instead of buying me an obscenely expensive gift. I more than agreed with his idea. We both have a nomadic's heart.

The tour started with Hyderabad, the home to one of my best friends, S, from college. She came to pick us up from the airport which is a good 40 km away from the city. S played a perfect hostess and took us sight seeing the City of Pearls. Had a great time visitng the Golconda fort, Salarjung Museum, Snow World, Birla Mandir and some of the famous eateries. Had a whale of a time, enjoying the spoils of a new city with H and S. At S's home, her mom prepared some seriously lip smacking food and gifted me a saree too. AND, this was just the beginning of the trip. Love you S and aunty for taking care of us so wonderfully :-)
S and I :-))
Met another friend S and his lovely wife N. S and I share a love-hate relationship since our college days. But contrary to my belief, he hasn't mellowed down one bit. He gave me a good hearing recently, just like he used to. But ONLY this time, it was my mistake..!!! Our relationship can be best summed as Krackjack biscuits - sweet and salty. Thank you S and N for your time as well as company. It was totally a pleasure meeting you guys.
S, N, H and I  :-))
From Hyd, we reached Bangalore after an overnight journey by train. Since both H and I have stayed in Bangalore in our bachelor days, we have loads of friends here. Decided to stay at one of my friend's R's place. He and his lovely wife also took care of us very well. We left for our next destination on the same day. Travelled to Kodaikanal (Tamil Nadu) by an overnight bus. Its a beautiful hill station situated at the top of a hill. We had left a sweltering Delhi and reached Kodaikanal where we were scampering for our sweaters. Heaven!!! Its a scenic place with beautiful waterfalls, never ending hills, and basically to-die-for weather. Its also famous for home made chocolates and natural oils. Spent the day sight seeing, and gorged on some good South Indian food. 

H and I in Kodai's pine forests
Kodai - clouds rising from below :-))
After resting the night at Kodai, we left for Munnar the next morning. Its another beautiful hill station situated at a height of 6000ft. above sea level. The journey itself is more beautful than the place. For me it was a little scary too as I am afraid of heights. The roads were broad enough for one vehicle for to pass and it was a two way road!!! Blind turns lurked at every corner adding misery to my already tortured soul. The saving grace was the beautiful view outside. The sprawling Western Ghats, miles and miles of lush green cotton plantation, huge waterfalls and clouds which were below us. You think you can take more than that??!!! Munnar was more beautiful than I had heard. Went sight seeing in Munnar for 2 days. Also visited a 20 year old Ayurveda centre famous for the special Kerala Ayurvedic massage. H and I treated ourselves to 1 hour of professional massaging hands with warm, scented therapeutic oils. It was like gooey chocolate melting in the mouth. Stayed a night in munnar too, enjoying the cold weather with blankets and hot ginger tea. Munnar is famous for natural spices, different varities of tea, coffee, chocolates and natural oils.

The picturesque Munnar
 Retured from Munnar on the morning of my birthday and reached R's place in Bangalore. Roamed around the whole day visiting our old joints and hang outs, reminiscing about the old days. In the evening, there was a surprise birthday party waiting for me at R's place. All my friends were there. It was pure unadulterated fun. Cake on the face, pulling each others' legs (literally too!!!) and basically having a ball.
Me with my girl gang on Birthday evening..!!!!
Thanks guys for being such great friends and making my day special.
The last two days in Bangalore saw us visiting all our old friends. I am a big sucker for old memories. And the last two days were just that. Visited my friends as well as H's friends, and remembered, and raised a toast to all the wonderful times that we had in the past and for the future as well.
In all it was a perfect vacation.
But we had got so worked up going from one place to another without taking a break basically left us wanting to take another vacation to dispel the fatigue of this one. Only if we could. But we are back at our respective offices and slogging our asses off.

PS: For the uninitiated readers, I have a twin sister M. The only sad part about the vacation was that I couldn't be with her to celebrate OUR day. Wish you a very Happy  Birthday M. Hope God takes care of you like he always has, makes all your dreams come true and hope you find your Prince Charming soon. ;-))