Lately, I have been very miffed and very confused with the different definitions of happiness around me. Now different people tend to be happy about different things. ? I am sure that definition is different for each one of us. Some of us might find our salvation in retail therapy, some in our kids’ smile, some in their work; some in spirituality and a lot of people find it in power and money. And there are some who conform to somebody else’s idea of being happy and find their happiness in the other persons’ happiness. But since when did it become fashionable to equate happiness with money, and all things that it can buy?
For once, I am not a conformist. And neither am I a believer in the shop-till-you-drop formula of girls my age. I, in fact, hate shopping. You know the kinds, where you keep hopping from shop to shop; mall to mall, oblivious of what you want, just waiting for serendipity to happen. That’s not my idea of shopping at all. I go shopping when I actually need something, buy it and come back. And since I am very choosy too, sometimes I don’t buy anything at all and come back. But some people just cannot digest the fact that a girl can act choosy and wise at the same time! I mean what have we girls been relegated to? Some sort of card swiping shopaholics, shopping bags toting maniacs? You know, people actually say things like she is stingy, she is a miser and so she wouldn’t spend on herself. Oh Please! For God’s sake, it’s MY hard earned money. Don’t I get to choose what I want to spend it on, and where? I mean, just because I don’t go out splurging my money on clothes, accessories and shoes that I may never ever wear (because I don’t like them as soon I reach home, but I bought it coz they looked so elegant on the mannequin), doesn’t mean I am a miser. Maybe you didn’t think I was being smart, or did you?
And yes, the other thing about money. I am a typical Cancerian when it comes to money. I like to have loads of it in my bank. You know we like being secured and all. So when I go out to shop, it helps me think rationally. When I see something ridiculously expensive, like a formal Van Huesen skirt for 3000 bucks, it helps me rationalize. I know I have the money to buy it, and so I will buy it Only if I need it. Because there are times, when you like something, and you don’t have the money to buy it. Then it doesn’t matter whether you need it or not, because you will always remember having not bought it because you couldn’t afford it. You know that self pity mode women are prone to go into. So that’s that. Having money to splurge actually makes me wiser.
I spend my hard earned money my way. And that makes me happy. For me buying useful/useless things is not equal to happiness. I find happiness in buying my favorite books in original paperback, in buying books on a sale where every book costs only Rs. 100, and I am happiest if I can find some lazy time to lie down in my home and read that book. I am happy when I spend time with H and with family, cracking PJs, or playing with my nephew. And I love to travel. I would prefer to spend my money on a week’s vacation over buying something expensive like diamonds or an iPad. And that doesn’t mean I am averse to all the good things in life. It’s just about that ‘rush’ people experience when they shop. I am just not like that. Materialism is not my idea of happiness.
Now don’t try to look at me with those cat-ish narrow eyes, unbelievably. I am not trying to act all saintly, but yeah…I am kinda bore for people my age. I don’t go clubbing, partying or shopping on weekends. I try to imagine myself as this intellectual thinker and arty type, who reads and stare at the walls thinking what her first book will be about (Jeez! *fingers crossed*)
People, I am done with your judgmental genes, please. I am not here to please you in any which way by buying anything that doesn’t make me happy. I have never done it and I am never gonna do it. Every time you stoop down enough to say something like, “Buy this because everybody your age owns it, and besides, it will make you appear in that league”, your name is struck off from my guest list. What guest list? My first book launch party, stupid! (Don’t ask me when and where, because it’s still in my dreams). But you gotta watch out. You might just not want to repeat that and miss out on THE master piece ;-)