Thursday, December 20, 2012

Men will be men! But when did they turn into animals?

The nation is in an uproar over the gang rape of a 23 year old student in Delhi. People are up in arms against the government, carrying out candle light marches and protests, fighting for fast track courts for rape cases and calling for the most stringent and rigorous punishment for supposed "men" who commit such crimes. The common man is blaming the police and so is the government. But why suddenly this hullabaloo? Is this the first time that a woman has been raped? Or is it that we have become so immune to a rape that unless it assumes proportions of a monstrous magnitude like this one, where the girl has not only been raped by 6 animals, but also been tortured physically to an extent that she might not even survive. And even if she does, she will have to undergo various surgeries to fix her vital organs and will possibly have to depend on intravenous fluids all her life. I don't know what to want for her. Should I pray to God for her life, a life where she will always have to depend on others or should I want her to die - a life that was burning bright with dreams of a happy future but maimed, because six animals in our city couldn't control their perversion?

Reacting to news incidents like these feels like a joke now. Because what we are doing is just letting the frustration out of our system. It does not affect anyone. In fact, the people who matter will say that girls invite trouble by their dressing, or by being out on the streets "late" in the night. By that logic, Muslim women who are covered from head to toe should never be raped, or young girls (kids) who stay at home invariably unless otherwise taken out by the parents shouldn't be either. But that doesn't deter people from heaping the blame on a victim. The Khaps in this country have an unmatched sense of humor. They will blame everyone, from mobile phones to chowmein, but never their men for a rape. The problem doesn't lie with a few men, but with a whole society that is hell bent on covering up everything that points a finger at their men. What kind of a democracy is this? Where all the freedom is for the men and all the diktats (on how to dress and behave) for women?

The objectification of women needs to be put an end to. It’s not just rape. Women face eve teasing, molestation, forced prostitution and other such malice just because supposed "men" view women as sex objects. They possibly don't see them as other human beings who have as much right over their body as them. They possibly think that it’s fine to be lecherous, to pass lewd comments or touch them in inappropriate places or even force themselves on her. Who gives them this thinking, this mindset? Their fathers who beat their mothers to establish a patriarchy in the family? Or movies which show that men stalking women to express love is very cool, or how even a policeman doing pelvic moves and dancing around with an item-girl like heroine is "fun"? Or the women leaders who blame a rape victim of being morally unsound or too adventurous for having it brought it upon herself? Who is the real culprit here?

No matter what happens with these 6 men or countless others who are yet to be convicted or even those, who are still roaming freely on the streets, because what's been done is done. But will it really deter other animals before doing or even thinking about it? Attacking this evil at the root is an urgency. Every family needs to teach their sons the correct way to behave with women. The government needs to pull up their socks and make an example out of this case. Had they done this earlier - the Assam molestation case, the Dhaula Kuan rape case, rape of the German diplomat, the Mumbai case, maybe we could have avoided this. The need of the hour is to send out a very strong message, a spine chilling one and it needs to be understood by supposed "men" that anatomically having ba**s is not the only ticket to manhood.  

If you are a real man, learn to protect and respect your women. Otherwise you are just another animal. One that needs to be herded and chained and invariably killed one day.

PS: No wonder the Mayans said that HUMANITY will end in 2012.

63 comments:

  1. am seething with the similar rage. I dont kno the soln to this. I feel sick and weird ... YA MAYANS HAV TRULY said. Whether world ends or not humanity ENDED ages back !!

    I wish woman have some power to chop off the penises when they r forced!! Ah I wish and only I CAN WISH

    Lets see if these criminals are hanged.. I would really love to see the youtube video of their DEATH

    somethng i wrote- http://afshan-shaik.blogspot.in/2012/12/if-you-are-draped-you-wont-be-raped-eh.html

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Completely identify with your rage and helplessness!

      Delete
    2. Instead of making exaggerated comments in the name of 'Abla Nari' , first learn the ground realities. Humanity is not just for Men..it includes Women too.
      I have been assaulted by women physically too. However, when I went to file a complaint in police, first they ridiculed and then I was given a lame excuse that there is no law in India which mentions 'Men can be raped by women'.
      Dont try to provoke men in the name of 'Women Empowerment' and then shove yourself under the garb of the gender biased laws of India.
      As for the few chauvenists who have taken the responsibility of protecting all women....remember that every year more than double Indian men are committing suicide....just cause Men will never stand united for there own cause.

      Delete
    3. And heres something for the Indian Women who switch roles between 'Abla Nari' and 'Empowered Women' to take advantage of a situation.
      Instead of blogging about some popularistic views and play with people sentiments, try to provide some stats if you can. Dare to speak the truth.

      http://zodiac498.blogspot.in/2012/10/misuse-of-dv498a-myth-or-reality.html

      Delete
  2. Hi Ghata,

    This is horrific for all the females out there. There's absolutely no safety available, even with a guy around. This calls for immediate action from both the tormented and the protectors.
    As a female, what steps will you be taking up for your safety, Ghata?

    Regards

    Jay
    http://road-to-sanitarium.blogspot.in/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As per the conditions prevalent in our society today, where in, no matter what time of the day it is, or who your are with, there's no stopping such wild animals.
      I can't do everything thinking this might attract somebody, this might provoke somebody. If only I could cease to exist, I could protect myself. Other than that, I don't see any solution for my or any woman's safety right now :( #Extremely sad but true!!

      Delete
  3. There was lot of anger in your post which is understandable as we all are helpless as we watch such news every now and then. I am a very peaceful and calm person but I strongly advocate castration. When we say we need to set an example, such an example is the dying need of the day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Totally with you on this Saru!

      Delete
    2. Will this society asking for castrating rapist men have the guts to cut breasts and seal the privates of cheating women/women who file false cases????

      Delete
    3. @Librapisces007: I can't talk on everyone's behalf. But yeah, if you do come across a case where a man has been violated by a gang of women, I'd love to support your cause!

      Delete
    4. @Librapiseces007 We are not talking about cheating here. We are talking on a very serious issue. Please stop finding escape routes for men. Though, however polite I'm, I'm sorry to say, I don't even value what people like you say and for your knowledge what you said has been happening in Kashmir, Afghanistan and other places with no fault of women. Please read more from reliable sources than rumors, just an appeal. :)

      Delete
  4. Actually,as you said,the problem is with mindset of the society.

    Even giving us "the women", reserved seats in govt buses (which I suppose is given because we shouldn't be victims of men standing around us with eve teasing etc) or otherwise what I think is given,because we are seen as weak and women also take advantage of that.They shouldn't,right,if they don't want to be portrayed as weaker sex? But,almost every woman does that.Then,that becomes a vicious circle.

    The problems start from grassroots level and even we as women are part of that mindset.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aekta, a part of what you are saying is right. But from what I understand, the logic of reserving seats for women in buses/offices/Parliament is because of a skewed sex ratio in our country (which again is because of female infanticide). At any point of the day, if you get on a bus, and see the ratio of men vs women, its highly likely that the women won't get a seat. And besides, standing women in the bus don't use the excuse to tease or molest the men or even touch them in inappropriate places. But the real issue, seats reserved or not, is the men need to understand that women are not objects for their perverted pleasure!

      And so, as you rightly pointed out, this problem needs to be tackled at a grassroot level. The sons need to be told how to behave with women. This objectification of women HAS to stop!

      Delete
    2. I agree with Aekta. When rights are equal or more already for a women. Why they always pretend to be weak. I have seen so many young girls sitting in metro/buses even some very old person is standing in front of them. Why these young girls cannot stand and show the world their real strength.

      Delete
    3. @Librapisces007

      Women do not pretend to be weak you fool, it is by the law of nature. And we men just need to respect it ,Equality is by virtue and not something that can be forced upon. Do you expect her to earn bread and butter for family while you take care of home/children. Can you feed a wailing baby , handle all the relations perfectly , take time for her hobby and still be in office working her @$$ off day and night. Bloody you cannot!!

      Girls sitting in metro is a phase of growing up.That is why they are young.If these young girls can be taxi-drivers/construction workers/war journalists single earners for their family , shame on you if you cannot see their real strength!!

      Delete
    4. Exactly the typical Indian man's mentality everyone's talking about. No denying that there are certain things like physical strength, stamina etc where women are weak. That's the only law of nature. Everything else is man made. This is where the role of a supportive (supporting does not mean hen-pecked - real men would know the difference) husband comes in, but I won't even try to talk about it. Because that would be akin to bashing my head against a wall - so I'll save my energy!

      Delete
    5. You know Aekta and Ghata, any kind of reservation bothers me. Be it for women or on the basis of caste. The only thing I am for is the disabled - because they do have to struggle even in the present. The ones on caste - are because their forefathers struggled. If there are problems for the ones from lower castes (hate even using that word) then give them equal opportunity. Help them financially if finances are a problem. That way it puts them at par with others. Beyond that it should be on the basis of merit for them just as it is for every one else. As for gender, here's an article I wrote where we seemed to be losing humanity in the fight for reservations/equality. Here's the link. If the intent is instead about preventing eve teasing and harassment then again, the persons indulging in such activities should be punished. Reservations only acknowledge that a side is weak and help in pulling it down further. If at all in the interim, to help with eve teasing and such until law and order becomes squeaky clean, they want to give reservations - then they should just start womens' only buses which would be much safer. See my other post here which talks about how reservations can cause a much stronger divide and distrust for genders against each other. Link here.

      Delete
  5. I am feeling a similar anger as you ...and with lots of helplessness.
    At the moment just want the girl to survive.
    She is a fighter....I hope she is able to heal(physically) at least.
    And praying that the culprit get punished severely (if not by government than by the public).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Absolutely Farina. The culprits need to be shown the door. Its high time!

      Delete
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  7. Can't agree more...
    //If you are a real man, learn to protect and respect your women. Otherwise you are just another animal. One that needs to be herded and chained and invariably killed one day. - D'accord

    peoples mentality has to change. All we can do as educated people is ensure our friends and relatives are safe.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad you agree. Wish the change would come faster!

      Delete
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    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
  10. Hi Ghata
    What you have to say about below?
    http://parthasadhukhan.wordpress.com/2012/12/25/how-delhi-gang-rape-will-change-our-life-in-future/comment-page-1/#comment-79

    ReplyDelete
  11. Respect comes by giving respect, not by force. Respect earned. There are enough women also do not respect men and kill men in 17 pics,treat men as free atm machines, what you tell them my dear.
    Now coming to rape there is long due demand to make the same gender netural, why the same not done? When a women rape a men, it termed as love?

    In India , never discuss that we have some skewed definition of r@pe. After living for two years or so as live-in-partners and sleeping in the same bed, to accuse the male partner of r@pe if he refused to marry is the height absurdity. And police recording it as r@pe the culmination of stupidity. Such stupid definition no country all over the world have. First need to plug this loop hole first or cry for rape is increasing and increasing .

    So, my humble request , law should not be on emotion and crime does not have any sex, caste or religion , so the first priority the law should be gender neutral. If women do not do rape , they will not be punished, but outright say, women do not do rape or sexual assault, is wrong and such mindset in law making process will increase the crime in society.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, there are women who take advantage of laws. Shame on those women. We despise them too. But with all due respect, just because they are wrong doesn't make these men right. I don't understand your logic. The issue here is about the men who are raping, the mentality leading them to rape and the men and women protesting against them. What is the point of bringing in another topic here? Why dont you start a different thread on your blog for that one?

      Delete
  12. If any Law or policy made without keeping in mind the history of mistakes and possibility of misuses clause , with the assumption that all women born in Raja Harish chandra family ( never lie) and all men born in criminal family , will lead to a disharmony in society and net results will be the "INCREASE IN CRIME IN SOCIETY".

    Choice to you to support a gender neutral balanced law by which both men or women can lead a dignified life or refuse to accept that women can also do the heinous crime and make one sided biased law to fulfill the long fantasy of Indian male haters organizations , how to kill men legally and the same should not be termed as crime in this country.

    ReplyDelete
  13. All must read before pointing fingers to others.
    NHRC chief wary of death penalty for rape demand

    He also cautioned against the possibility of a stringent rape law being misused. “In most cases, there is no doubt that rape has taken place. But there are also cases where a woman may level false rape charges against some person. We have to keep that also in mind,” Balakrishnan said.

    [1] WHO Report – WORLD REPORT ON VIOLENCE AND HEALTH Report, Chapter 6, Sexual Violence – Page 154 , Box 6.1
    [2] Asian Center for Human Rights report titled “Torture in India 2010”, ISBN : 978-81-88987-24-5
    [3] “POLICE TORTURE IN PUNJAB, INDIA: An Extended Survey” by Ami Laws and Vincent Iacopino, Health and Human Rights Journal, Vol 6 No .1
    [4] “Rape on Second thought” – Article in the Pune Mirror on 28-April-2010, http://www.punemirror.in/index.aspx?page=article&sectid=62&contentid=201004282010042800020376672f460c5&sectxslt=
    [5] Lady who cooks up rape TNN, Feb 18, 2012 -
    http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/chandigarh/Lady-who-cooks-up-rape/articleshow/11934223.cms?intenttarget=no
    [6] Woman to pay Rs 50 lakh for accusing actor of rape, TNN, Dec 11, 2012
    http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2012-12-11/chennai/35748963_1_mohammedan-law-mansoor-ali-khan-trial-court

    a) AI Air Hostess Komal Singh case : “NCW rules out sexual harassment of AI air-hostess” - http://www.zeenews.com/news579693.html
    (b) Lt. Gen. A.K.Nanda case : “Col, wife cooked up sex charge against general” - http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/iplarticleshow/6515807.cms
    (c) Weightlifting coach falsely alleged with sexual harassment by Karnam Malleshwari : “Weightlifting coach absolved of charges”
    - http://www.hindustantimes.com/Weightlifting-coach-absolved-of-charges/Article1-653542.aspx
    (d) False sexual harassment allegations against Mr. M.K.Kaushik, former Indian Women’s Hockey coach
    - http://www.ndtv.com/article/sports/hockey-sex-scandal-coach-opts-out-of-tours-38771

    (e) Fake rape victims a danger to society: Court - http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2012-07-17/india/32713694_1_district-court-delhi-court-real-victims
    (f) Take action against girl for filing false rape case: HC to cops -
    http://www.indianexpress.com/news/take-action-against-girl-for-filing-false-rape-case-hc-to-cops/931412
    (g) Woman, Mother Marked for Lodging 'False' Rape Cases -
    http://news.outlookindia.com/items.aspx?artid=766976
    (h) Lady who cooks up rape TNN, Feb 18, 2012 -
    http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/chandigarh/Lady-who-cooks-up-rape/articleshow/11934223.cms?intenttarget=no
    (i) Medical report rules out rape of two Russians: Hindustan Times, Panipat, June 26, 2012
    http://www.hindustantimes.com/India-news/Haryana/Medical-report-rules-out-rape-of-two-Russians/Article1-879042.aspx

    ReplyDelete
  14. The problem here is aggravated by such bloggers who have seen the outer world through cozy bedrooms and are not aware of ground reality at all.
    With such ignorent blogs they seem to be dividing the human rights into man,woman rights.

    When a similar voice is being raised by backward class people and they justify the quota demand by saying that they have been victimised since years and thus they need reservation in jobs,colleges and law then these girls oppose it saying that all human are equal and thus there should be no reservation.

    When a similar voice is raised by a men to treat them equally as woman then these girls says that because GIRLS are more harassed and thus they need quota in colleges, in queues, under law.
    What a double standard?
    Why don't any woman (like men) never raise voice for better society for all.
    The bottom-line is:
    We need no new laws to improve society but we need to improvise existing laws (by proper implementation) for a new healthy society.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Why Sexual assaults on men are underrepresented?

    The WHO report on sexual violence [1] states the below

    “Most experts believe that official statistics vastly under-represent the number of male rape victims. The evidence available suggests that males may be even less likely than female victims to report an assault to the authorities. There are a variety of reasons why male rape is underreported, including shame, guilt and fear of not being believed or of being denounced for what has occurred. Myths and strong prejudices surrounding male sexuality also prevent men from coming forward.”

    Sexual assault against males by the Indian Police is far more brutal than sexual assault against females

    Are only females entitled to have modesty in India and not men? Is a man any less of a human being in the eyes of the government than a woman when it comes to safeguarding his modesty? If the answer is ‘No’ then A Police officer violating the modesty of man in any way must be held equally guilty of Sexual Assault. Some recent studies expose the fact that the relative brutality of sexual assault on a man by the police is often much more than sexual assault of a woman. Frequently sexual assault on men go far beyond just outraging the modesty and are in many cases severe and life threatening and hence the punishment for the crime of sexual assault by a police officer or a government servant against any man must be commensurately much more.

    1) Study: - Torture in India 2010 - Asian Center for Human Rights

    The Asian Center for Human Rights in its report tiled “Torture in India 2010”[2], discloses that with the 2000-2001 as the base year, custodial deaths have increased by 41.66% persons under the UPA government between 2004-2005 and 2007-2008 in India. This includes 70.72% increase of deaths in prison custody and 12.60% increase of deaths in police custody. Rampant and deadly sexual assault cases against males in particular have been documented in this shocking study. Few are highlighted below.

    a) Page 20 “The victims told the court that they were tortured for four days. The police used candles on their genitals forcing them to confess to the crime which they insisted they did not commit. The court instructed the police to take the victims to hospital for treatment. The doctors found burn injuries on the genitals and legs of both victims.”

    b) Page 21 “In June 2009, Jitumoni Bora, the officer-in-charge of Nitaipukhuri police outpost in Sivasagar district of Assam allegedly stripped naked two Class X students and rubbed “Bhut Jolokia” (also called Naga Jolokia), the world’s hottest chilli, on their bodies.”

    c) Page 80 “Mr. S. inquired as to the reason for his detention, but he was hit by BSF personnel with wooden sticks, which made him fall to the ground. At that time, other personnel started beating him with their boots,resulting in black spots all over his body and bleeding from his penis.”

    a) Disrobing the male prisoners causing them deliberate embarrassment

    b) Kicking the male prisoners in their groin and thighs by officers wearing heavy boots

    c) Electric shocks administered to male genitals

    d) Motor Oil being pushed up a Male’s anus

    e) Chilli Peppers pushed up the Male’s anus

    f) Inserting foreign objects like Batons and other instruments in private parts

    g) Raping Male prisoners with relatives having to watch

    A report from Physicians for Human Rights (PHR) Denmark indicated that, as recently as 2000, Punjab police were still using the same sexual assault techniques on detainees.




    ReplyDelete
  16. @aekta
    We need to work at grassroot level.
    inventing more laws and demanding conviction for a particular crime is of no use.
    We need to raise voice against corruption, against misandry, against people who thinks all men are born criminals and a girl child is a curse.
    The way OBC/ST/SC quota is not justified, a girl getting quota (and calling them as as strong as man) in every field(school, law, college, bus-seats) cannot be justified.
    To strenghthen my statement, I am amazed to observe that we never have any special coach in delhi-metro for
    1. senior citizans
    2. OBC/ST/SC
    but we do have coaches for (young) girls.
    This shows that only girls need protection against sexual assaults but our elderly parents do not need any special attention in such crowded places.
    Making special metro coaches for girls can save them in metro, making special queues for them everywhere can save them again, making special sexual harassements bills can save them at workplace, protecting them from in-laws by making powerful laws like (498a/DV), reserved seats in colleges for girls can make them well educated, special plans by goverment for a girl child.........But what has we achieved with al this reservation?
    Had the govt. in last 70 years spend that much on making life better for both genders then I think, scenario would have been different.
    With every crime against woman, we make a new law. More than its use, it get misused.
    We need proper implementation.
    potential future Rapists will not learn a lesson by convicting these 6 rapists but they will definetely they will scared of doing such crime if govt. spent time on proper implementation of existing laws.
    But I am worried that with such stupid blogs, govt is again forced to blindly draft few more new laws (under justice verma) that will finally end up in false cases rather than true arrests.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Warning Document for Indian Bachelors
    =====================================

    http://www.scribd.com/doc/106788620/Warning-for-Indian-Bachelors

    Death Trap by Indian women
    ==========================

    http://sffdelhitrainingsessions.blogspot.in/2012/12/AREyouMALE.html


    ReplyDelete
  18. Whatever has happened in Delhi is barbaric (if true and no media exaggeration) and govt. has taken due care to handle this situation. I understand the frustration building up among women now as they see these cases appearing in newspaper everyday on front page. But we need to understand that this is purely business even from media perspective. This incident gone viral as a newly formed party wanted to gain some ground in Delhi. But we have seen how in Gwahati, a journalist has provoked a mass to create a sensational news item (hope you have not missed Kejriwal's evidences). Issue is why it is so with women related crimes. So far it was dowry and with all strict laws we have seen how those were misused by young women. Whereas women in the form of mother. sister or bhabhi of the man was sent to jail. When dowry was promoted as evil, maintenance was promoted as right and so we have six different sections to deal with maintenace and still they want IrBM.

    on one hand women always object to objectification and on the other hand they want to look sexy and wear all those revealing clothes to show off how independent they are. If men look at them or call them sexy that becomes harassment for them. If men do not look at them, those become impotent.

    Also the way gender biased laws are created one day, that day is not far when intelligent men will run away from Indian women. They will be safe but lonely. Hope that is the current definition of women empowerment is.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Hello blog poster,

    Please go through the TOI link:

    http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/mumbai/Girl-lied-about-gang-rape-as-she-had-not-studied-for-school-exam/articleshow/17801335.cms


    If the same hue and cry was being raised for this girl too and death penalty was sentenced to these innocent men in a week time without knowing the truth or evaluating the things then this would have been disaster.

    When seeing the world from bedroom's window, we should a take neutral stand to avoid injustice to innocents rather than shouting madly and writing such blogs

    ReplyDelete
  20. Few boys commit suicide on false allegations.

    http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/delhi/Charged-with-molestation-youth-kills-self/articleshow/17836990.cms

    As per NCRB, 62000 married men commit suicide every year in India but that goes un-noticed as women are MORE harassed so only they need protection. Sad !
    Yet again a false FIR claimed 2 lives.
    Well done Ghata, your blogs are really empowering women.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Hi Ghata,
    Few more for you. Seem like you also want to save this abla-nari?

    Faridabad woman killed husband, mom-in-law

    http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/delhi/Faridabad-woman-killed-husband-mom-in-law/articleshow/16959837.cms?intenttarget=no

    FARIDABAD: A woman has been convicted for murdering her mother-in-law and husband for the insurance claim. Nisha (30) was successful in passing off her mother-in-law's murder as an accident, but her father-in-law got suspicious after his son's death.

    Nisha is a resident of Sector-23, Faridabad and worked as an insurance agent in a private company. Greed for a lavish lifestyle and an extra-marital affair prompted Nisha to murder her mother-in-law Angoori Devi on September 13, 2009 with the help of her lover Manish (19) and an accomplice, Shyam Sunder. Police suspected no foulplay in Devi's death.

    Nisha had made a policy of Rs 50 lakh on Devi and had nominated herself as the beneficiary. Her husband, Arvind, came to attend his mother's last rites when she got a policy of Rs 30 lakh made in his name. Arvind was killed on October 10 by Nisha, Manish and their two accomplices, Shyam and Murli. The murder could have passed off as accident but Nisha's father-in-law got suspicious. The case was transferred to crime department and all four, Nisha, Manish, Shyam and Murli, were held.

    ReplyDelete
  22. The Harassed Husbands of India

    http://www.openthemagazine.com/article/living/the-harassed-husbands-of-india


    ReplyDelete
  23. OK for everybody who thinks this is a stupid article, how about you take a field trip? Travel in a public bus in Delhi for a day and when you come back, let's see if you can post a comment that you stood up for a single woman who was getting harassed? Yes, there are crimes against men too, nobody's saying we wont protest those. But why look to us to do that? Why not start the protests yourself if you really believe in the cause. And FYI, highlighting another cause doesn't make the previous one any less important.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 'But why look to us to do that? Why not start the protests yourself if you really believe in the cause.'

      @ Deepa

      Obviously, men can fight their own battle. No problem with that.
      But, then why do you seek & garner support from men in form of protesters for fighting this brutal crime.
      Men should fend for themselves. Right. If this is your life's mantra & this is what you believe, then women should also fight their own battle.

      And, mind you, I have stated your belief (the one above) here and I am not expressing mine.

      And, I love the way you turned a blind eye towards the article mentioned about the monstrous DIL and completely ignored.
      You may offer an excuse saying that this was totally unrelated but it isn't because you feel that it's the women only who are victims in our society or their numbers far outweigh those of men and hence, that article had to be highlighted.

      I am glad that a guy did it (copied the article here)

      The least you could have done was acknowledge how gruesome was the act perpetrated by the woman on her husband even if not as vociferously as you have done for the poor girl (since you seem to have biased opinions)on other forums.

      Remember that I am no way stating that (the girl on the bus) wasn't a brutal crime, it obviously is, but to ignore a crime against several men(which surely can and is perpetrated by several men in today's society) is very wrong and insensitive.






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    2. typo

      ............is also perpetrated by several ****women in today's society

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    3. Kudos Deepa. I am sure none of these "men" would dare to do that!

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    4. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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    5. Good God. The debate is not about who needs to support whom. I was only responding to the comment which asked me to support. You don't see me asking you to support do you? The debate is about crime happening which it shouldn't. In this case Ghata had written about the bus rape, which shouldn't have happened. In the DIL case, do you see me condoning it? See my other comments. I actually condemn it. I condemn and despise women too who commit such acts. You ask me to blame women committing crimes, I ask you and everyone to blame men and women who commit crimes. Period. Stop making it a sensational topic. The simple fact of the matter is people who commit crimes shouldn't, and people who stand up and watch crime happening should speak up. Statistically crimes against women show up higher than crimes against women, so there's bound to be more focus on that - not just from me or Ghata, from anybody - be it the news, politics, men, women - because the strength in numbers concept comes in. The more the number of crimes - the more focus it will draw.

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    6. @ deepa

      I am not the one sensationalizing it because it I don' consider any brutal crime to be a news item.

      You seem to have misunderstood my comment, I didn't you to blame women 'only' if they are committing crimes, but women TOO (along with men) if they are committing crimes wherein the victim could be a woman or a man.

      Yes, statistically, there may be more documented cases of crimes against 'women' but we only need to look below the surface to realise that in our society, there are many men who are subjected to crimes by the so-called weaker sex - women.
      If women are expected to suffer in silence, it's the men too who do that, more so if they have been subjected to crimes by women. It is happening all over in India.
      It's just that it isn't brought to forefront because in India and elsewhere, 'men' are expected to exercise restraint and never pour their heart out. Moreover, it would make them an object of ridicule if they ever admit to being abused by women since society (& suprisingly not just Indian) finds it difficult to ascribe to the notion of 'a woman oppressing a man'.

      And, it's not the larger number (well, that's debatable too as I stated earlier) of crimes against women that draw the attention of the media, NGO's or may be members of general public, but the fact that it involves a woman as the victim.
      Nothing wrong in highlighting their apathy and demanding justice, but to keep mum when brutal incidents of such nature happen to men, certainly is.
      A recent incident involving a 23 year old guy whose body (dismembered into 16 pieces) on the railway tracks in Delhi highlights this issue. The main culprit in this case was suspected to be his girlfriend's family (suprisingly, the girl was spared). I would thank the press if you are able to recall this incident, at least it bothered to give it a mention once/twice in their columns.
      I expected a whole debate on this issue by several media channels for this is quite gruesome. But then, it disappeared into oblivion and no one cared to discuss about it since it involved a man. Surprisingly, none of women's rights organisations and the media too cried foul with statements 'how unsafe Indian men are in a city like Delhi' and how a girl/girl's family is capable of committing a horrific crime in this so-called 'patriarchal' set-up (the term which recently has become a favorite of many and has been been heavily exploited to paint the devious nature of our society and how each & every crime against women can so easily be attributed to it)
      It doesn't end here. I am very sure if we had reversed the situation in this railway tracks case, many would have cried foul over how unsafe the Indian women are and how patriarchy bestows men (the boyfriends) & their families with unlimited power (to even murder an innocent girl)
      There's no denying that the boyfriend and his family would have been immediately arrested by the police, had the girl's body been found.

      What happened to the women's rights activists then? All of a sudden, they turned numb. They might argue that it's a matter doesn't relate to them and so they won't interfere. I am fine with their 'policy', but they have no right to state that that women are the only ones are are 'unsafe' or 'tortured' and everytime put on the blame to the patriarchal set-up.
      How convenient it is for them.


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    7. @ Deepa

      In continuation of my reply,

      our comment here about the 'typical Indian male psyche' doesn't go down so well with other men and women too. It might please the so-called 'feminists' or a few others. It is in the same league as comments from a few which go like 'we need to teach our sons not to assault......'.
      I am fine as long as such commentors are speaking exclusively about their very own bilogical/adopted 'sons' (they know them better). Else I have serious issues with regard to such comments because they have no right to talk about a large no. of other Indian sons who would never ever think of committing such perverted acts.
      It's wrong to paint an entire society as evil and talk disparagingly about 'all/most of the men of our society' as criminals.

      The men involved in this crime & other crimes of similar nature against women don't speak & can never speak about the entire Indian male psyche & populace.
      Yes, Indian society like many other Asian societies is conservative and so it also teaches us that there is nothing more perverted and wrong then violating a woman.

      The recent attack by the a young American kids massacring several school kids
      should make the entire American society say that we need to teach our sons........ assuming the same model and logic we have adopted here after this incident.
      Stop stereotyping. Once should always avoid it.

      Speaking of public buses, I as a university student in Delhi had seen and often heard many girls (no, I didn't eavesdrop, I was forced to listen to their conversations since they didn't know the art of having polite conversations at a low tone in public places) discussing the rather intimate details of a gym-fit guy's anatomy who just got down a stop ago and how they lusted after him.
      Oh! If you think that Indian girls can't do that, you are wrong.
      Now, should I make an assumption about today's Indian female psyche based on such incidents?

      Please don't say that is hardly a problem since men in general/most of the men especially Indian love getting lustful gazes from women if at all they get any; most of the men seek & enjoy amorous attention from female (and if some men don't, then those me are weird or their orientation is questionable)

      while on the other hand, all/ most of the females esp. Indian want to shield themselves from the roving male eye.

      Kindly don't connect the above statement to the recent incident in some wrong way because I am in no way implying that the victim brought it upon herself. So, make any such interpretation at your own risk and don't hold me accountable for such thoughts & words that you put to them would be entirely yours.

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    8. 1. I believe this is the incident you're talking about. Might want to have a read here. http://www.hindustantimes.com/India-news/NewDelhi/Paras-Bhasin-s-body-was-not-hacked-claim-police/Article1-924663.aspx
      The investigation is still on, so I won't comment on it.

      2. You say "'men' are expected to exercise restraint and never pour their heart out. Moreover, it would make them an object of ridicule if they ever admit to being abused by women since society (& suprisingly not just Indian) finds it difficult to ascribe to the notion of 'a woman oppressing a man'." Who's fed this expectation Prabhat? It's the same patriarchal society. Men who are victims because of such expectations are also being opressed because of this very patriarchal society. We have the same enemy and yet you point fingers at the women for their fault. Even the mother who raises her son in that way (in case you blame the mother because she's a women) is because of this upbringing - the fact that in the society men are 'expected' to.

      3. It is not only about teaching men not to rape. It is also about teaching daughters not to put up with injustice. Its also about teaching sons to stop injustice if they see it happening. We're all guilty of being mute bystanders. Has no one ever made lewd remarks on a girl/boy/child around you? If it has happened, have you been able to speak up? But girls speak and they are told to shut up. The upbringing needs to happen both ways. But then we have ministers like BJP senior leader talking about "if women cross the Laksham Rekha they will be subject to Ravan haran'. That's the upbringing that needs to change.

      4. Yes, it is wrong to make an entire society representative. I feel bad for the good men too and I know there are many. But they're paying the cost of the sins of the other bad men. Instead of blaming the women, we should all be standing against the injustice meted out.

      5. The American incident involved a shooter with mental disorders and guns. Totally different. Are we saying every rapist has a mental disorder? That's pretty convenient then isn't it?

      6. Don't tell me guys don't discuss a girl's figure. But the girls you saw, in your words "discussing the rather intimate details of a gym-fit guy's anatomy who just got down a stop ago and how they lusted after him.". Not whistling or rubbing themselves against him or touching him did they? Your own words not mine. You wanted neutral. That is neutral.

      7. If the social reaction to a man walking nude at 3 PM is to be arrested or stoned, all we ask is that the social reaction to a women walking nude at 3 PM also be the same - arrested or stoned. Arrest would be the legal way to do it - man or woman. Stoning would be barbaric - but if that's what it is for a man, then so be it for a woman. Gender neutral laws right? Both he and she shouldn't get raped. As simple as that.

      Not making interpretation or assumption. For good measure, am done.

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    9. PS: http://www.indianexpress.com/news/paras-bhasin-death-train-driver-tells-police-he-ran-over-man/1000730
      It was confirmed as a suicide by the CBI with witness testimony. I'm sorry and my prayers are with the man and every victim of injustice. I'm sure you'll now post another case. Honestly, am done. I cannot explain the intent of this post or comments any better. If it didn't get communicated so far, then it won't get clearer regardless of what we say. It would only be a waste of everyone's time.

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  24. Yes, there are crimes against men too, nobody's saying we wont protest those
    >> Thanks, unlike Ghata, you atleast acknowledges.
    But why look to us to do that?
    >> In that gang rape protest or any other protest supporting women, you can find more >>men standing than women. Stop being so selfish and stand got your brother, father's >>rights as well.
    Why not start the protests yourself if you really believe in the cause?
    >> We have 40 NGO supporting men for their rights. You can search on web, MRA, SIFF, >>DAMAN, SFF
    And FYI, highlighting another cause doesn't make the previous one any less important.
    >> Apt. statement. Similar way, more crime are happening against women does not make >>you ignoring crime against men and promoting gender biased laws. I hope I have answered you

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    1. I'm confused. You don't see me telling you to take to the roads for women, you don't see me asking you to protest for women or join an NGO that fights crimes against women do you? Then why turn back and point the finger at me? You're the one who raked up the fight about crimes against men, you're the one who believes in it. I believe it happens too but I believe that crimes against women are more rampant. My actions are decided by what I believe in, so should yours. It's that simple. Also, why would rape laws be gender biased? A rape is a rape, the rape law should apply to all.

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    2. A rape is a rape, the rape law should apply to all.
      >> That is what we are demanding ! Currently rape law has some loop-holes and is not covering women. Even adultery treats women as an abettor and does no punish her so going by this logic if a husband catch his wife in bed with her boyfriend then that poor husband can file adultery only on wife's boyfriend but not on his adulterous wife. Domestic violence happens on men too but a poor husband cannot even go to take shelter under law as there is no provision.

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  25. I agree with all your points mentioned in the article. Once there was a time when women where praise a god in the country but now the time has changed, they are tease, tortured everywhere. I personally think that today is the time to fight against all this crimes for the safety of mother, wife, sister and every women around you.

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  26. Replies
    1. Thanks a lot IHM for getting the word around!

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  27. I came here through IHM's blog, and I am appaled by the lack of sensitivity that is shown by few commentors!
    I wish we could stop pointing fingers at OTHERS and start pointing fingers at OURSELVES and stand up for people who are being harrased in public be it male/female or child.

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    Replies
    1. Only if people/emn understood that! Thanks indiatvandmovie for the support.

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  28. I hope 2012 marks a beginning of a change in mentality... its so sad that it took such a shock for all of us wake up and acknowledge this evil exists and something needs to be done about it..

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  29. hi Ghata....that was my first reaction that why suddenly every one has woken up to this case of rape...probably coz it was too monstrous to keep silent about but what about all the other rape cases happening in the country where probably the woman doesn't even get a chance to report the incident!!

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  30. निशा शर्मा के खिलाफ दहेज उत्पीड़न का केस

    http://navbharattimes.indiatimes.com/dowry-case-against-nisha-sharma/articleshow/17958708.cms

    दहेज के खिलाफ आवाज उठाकर और बरात लौटाकर निशा शर्मा ने 10 साल पहले सुर्खियां बटोरी थीं। अब वही दहेज के केस में फंस गई है। उनकी भाभी मनीषा के परिजनों ने पानीपत के समालखा थाने में उसके समेत परिजनों के खिलाफ दहेज उत्पीड़न समेत अनेक धाराओं में एफआईआर दर्ज करवाई है। इस मामले मंे निशा के भाई को पुलिस ने रेड डालकर 8 जनवरी को गिरफ्तार भी कर लिया है।

    मनीषा के पिता विजय शर्मा की ओर से दर्ज करवाई गई एफआईआर के अनुसार, उन्होंने करीब 3 साल पहले अपनी बेटी की शादी सेक्टर-61 निवासी ज्ञानेश्वर शर्मा से की थी। इस शादी से उन्हें एक बच्चा भी हुआ। एफआईआर के मुताबिक, मनीषा के ससुर डी. डी. शर्मा, सास हेमलता शर्मा, पति ज्ञानेश्वर शर्मा और ननद निशा शर्मा ने 12 लाख रुपये दहेज मांगा और न ला पाने पर उसके साथ मारपीट शुरू कर दी। कई बार उन्होंने उन्हें समझाने की कोशिश भी की लेकिन उन पर कोई असर नहीं हुआ। आरोप है कि पिछले साल ठंड मंे उन्होंने स्वेटर उतरवाकर मनीषा से कई बार पूरे घर में पोंछा लगवाया और मना करने पर मारपीट की।

    एफआईआर में कहा गया है कि पिछले साल मामला यहां तक बढ़ा कि मनीषा के ससुरालियों ने उसे घर से निकाल दिया। इसके बाद से वह समालखा में रहने को मजबूर हैं। अब वे मनीषा को जबरन तलाक देकर अपने बेटे ज्ञानेश्वर की दूसरी शादी कराने की योजना बना रहे हैं। इस मामले में उनकी तहरीर पर पुलिस ने निशा शर्मा समेत चारों ससुरालियों के खिलाफ धारा 498ए (स्त्री के साथ ससुरालियों द्वारा क्रूरता करना), 506 (जान से मारने की धमकी देना), 504 (गालीगलौज करना), 406 (शादी में दिए सामानों पर कब्जा करना) के आरोप में नामजद मुकदमा दर्ज कर लिया है। मुकदमे के बाद समालखा पुलिस ने 8 जनवरी को नोएडा में रेड डालकर मनीषा के पति ज्ञानेश्वर शर्मा को अरेस्ट कर लिया। उनके ससुर डी. डी. शर्मा, सास हेमलता शर्मा और ननद निशा शर्मा को फरार बताया जा रहा है। पुलिस उनकी गिरफ्तारी का प्रयास कर रही है।

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  31. Nisha Sharma.....tasting her own spit.....what an irony.....epic case of mis-use of gender biased laws :-)....tit for tat.

    kyonki saaas bhi kabhi bahu thi.

    100 main se 99 be-imaan, hamare desh main biwiyaan pahalwaan :-)

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