Monday, March 31, 2014

A for advice

Today I start the A-Z blogging challenge 2014 which means I'll be blogging this entire month,  except the Sundays. I know it's going to take a whole lot of will power to keep up the pace. But it also means that I'll be spamming your inboxes much more. So there. You have been warned:-)

Let's face it. We all have bee there, done that. Been on both ends of the spectrum when it comes to unsolicited advice. While giving it lies in our genes amd we can give out as much, and anytime. But taking it is another ballgame altogether.

Pregnancy and new motherhood are invitations for a lot of advice. Anyone and everyone you know or you don't will have a tip or two for you. While all of it is definitely given in good spirit, it does get to you sometimes.

Even your closest friends fall prey to this syndrome. You would call them or text them to rant about a problem, and lo and behold, they are busy extending out their set of wisdom.
Since I have recently been through all of the above situations, I can tell you, sometimes you just want to pull your hair out and shout out the choicest abuses. Ha! If only you didn't want to be written off a lunatic.

So here is my quick advice survival guide:

1) Take all of it with a smile, but use only what you deem beneficial to you and your child. Motherly instincts are way better than experience or doctors.

2) Give advice, only when asked for it. This would make life so much simpler...isn't it? 😆

3) Be a good listener. Most of the people/friends who call you to rant about their issues are only looking to let it out of their system. And as much as we like to think we are helping the fella at the other end, in reality, we all have to face our life's demons ourselves. No one can take the difficult decisions for you. So just listen, nod, agree, and if need be, join your friend in abusing his/her problem. Letting go of anger is a very crucial first step to finding solution to any problem.

4) Most importantly, always be there for your friends. No matter what. Meet them, text, email, watsapp whatever it takes. And repeat step 3 ☺

5) The above post is an advice. Take a deep breath, go to step 1 and repeat 😁

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Motherhood and growing up!

When I first broke the news of my motherhood on the blog and Facebook, I was inundated with congratulatory calls and messages. I read through all of them "Congratulations" "wow she is an angel" etc. and some new mommies also threw in some advice and their own experiences.

So many people have this habit of writing angle when they mean angel. I mean, is it really that difficult?? Also, pregnancy and motherhood are a magnet for a barrage of unsolicited advice. Phew!! Anyway, I digress.

So coming back to the point. There was a comment from a dear college friend. If I were to quote her, this is what she said "I know and relate to everything you have talked about. While everyone tells you about how beautiful your life will get after you have a baby, no one prepares you for the emotional tide one goes through and more so, on how suddenly you have to 'grow up'." She is the mother of a wonderful girl herself.

When I had read this comment, I was still in the high of being a new mother, and couldn't ever get enough of my pretty princess. But with time, every new day, I have realised the truth in her words. So simple, but so true. Here I was, a girl, a woman of this world just 3 months back. And one day, I have an infant dependent on me 24x7.  I became a mother. But that's not the thing that changes your spirit overnight. It's the people around you.

Suddenly you are not allowed to make mistakes. You have got to be perfect all the time. Nobody realizes that might be a 27 year old woman, but only a 3 month old mother. Everybody assures me they are well meaning. I agree, but please, could we hold thy advice horses please?

And then there's the husband who has also graduated to be a father. All dreamy eyed and in an obsessive love relationship with the kid. Cannot have enough of him/her. But hello, I am the mother of your kid. Wasn't I also the same girl you fell in love with? Your girlfriend, and consequently your wife before I became a mother.

Suddenly I realize I have to grow up. I have to relinquish the place I had in his heart. I have to step aside to make place for her. And still smile and be happy at being sidelined. Now, I am not the one who is the most pampered and the one who is spoiled rotten. It's her. Am I jealous? Of course. He was all mine before he became all hers. But I guess that's how the cookie crumbles in this game. Or is it?