Our house still reeks of love. I think it always will. All the unsaid words and feelings, I can feel them floating around. You love me, you say. I believe you. Only that your love is biased towards your own self.
I toy with the idea of moving away. I know it will be difficult, but necessary for my self-respect. I wouldn’t be able to survive in this house anymore. My place of refuge, my place of solace, has turned into a prison. I wonder if I would ever meet another man and fall in love. Again. It seems impossible. No man would be like you. And for me, love is you. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I couldn’t.
How do you greet your friends when you meet them after a really long time?
Do you acknowledge the time lapse and explain the reason for your absence? Or just pretend that nothing happened and 18 months is not really that long a time to be missing from one’s blog!
Ok so, I am not going to pretend and pickup from where I left because a lot has happened en route.
For starters, I have moved to another continent. To be more precise, America. My life has suddenly become a total antithesis of what it was. Presently, I am staying home, and not working at a full time corporate job. I have never known this life. Although this is temporary, I am still finding it difficult to come to terms with it. I stay at home, and unlike back home, I have no maid to take care of the cooking and cleaning part. And if you know me, you would know how much I detest coking. But hey, someone said, “Never say never”. So here I am, cooking 3 hot meals a day for the family. Let me also take this opportunity to thank them for being a sport, because they pretend to enjoy my cooking!
In the meantime, the little one has also grown up a bit and is not so little anymore. Current status: 4 going on 14. She likes makeup and high heels, and doesn’t like to wear the same uniform to school every day. I have no idea what issues we’ll be facing in a decade! She is yet to start school here in US, and I am really looking forward to that. Not because she will start studying and learn new things, but just because she’ll be off my back for a few hours. Now, no judging please. I love her, but I am not Mother India, ok? I am not blessed with unlimited patience.
I had almost given up on the blog in the past 18 months as I was too busy juggling a full time job, a house and a child. Who knew, I would get to play house-house once again, be a house wife and be tempted enough to come back here? Life, do you ever cease to wonder?